Don't Wait to be Happy

Day 53, Hour 49 of 120 Hours of Yoga



"You don't have to wait until life isn't hard anymore, before you decide to be happy." -Nightbirde

Today was hard. From the moment I woke up, until I sit here writing this just a few hours before bed, every.single.minute of this day has been hard.  I could write a logistical list of everything that went wrong today, starting with a sleepless night, then a 6am yoga class at a new (to me) studio that felt flat; a Monday of work after a long weekend, in a job that doesn't inspire me anymore, and an entire day of struggling with my son over summer classes that he CHOSE to sign up for (none of these classes are required) but has been consistently behind since the day they started ... and on and on and on ... 

I have been on the brink of boiling over, emotionally, all day. And then I went to a 4:30pm yoga class at Modo, a studio that helps me to sweat it out, with an instructor that I really like (who I describe as "effervescent" because she has a very light, airy, happy, and open personality). The class was a 50 minute "flow" class, which means that the movements flow together more quickly than in a standard class. This class was set to music.

If you've read my previous posts you know that music with lyrics during yoga class does not work well for me.  I cannot listen to instructor prompts and stories set to music (which is what most lyrics are - stories set to music) at the same time. But I've been to KJ's classes a lot recently, and every time she leads a class with music, it is lyric-less (cue meditation music you might expect to find in a monastery).  I actually stopped and talked with her after class recently, thanking her for playing lyric-less music, mentioning that it's hard for me to follow verbal yoga cues while listening to lyrics.  She agreed, and in that moment I felt surprised yet validated at the same time.  

So KJ walks into the yoga studio full of students, introduces herself in her typical effervescent style, and reminds the class that this is a "flow class with music". The speakers crackle a little while she gets things started, and the music is strictly instrumental.  I'm thinking to myself, "this is a rare example (for me) when I ask for something and get it". I'm thinking maybe she is playing instrumental music because of my comments to her after class recently - maybe my comments reinforced for her to continue this great pattern of lyric-less music!  And for the first time all day I breathed. I settled in, and flowed.

And then the song changed. Haunting music with words. Words drowning out KJ's voice. I could kind of hear her, but her voice is light and airy and easily overwhelmed by the noise coming through the speakers. I've done this class a few times before so kind of know the pattern of movements as they flow from one to the next, and can watch the students around me to get cues as well.  After all of this - after an entire day of this - the quote comes to mind: "You don't have to wait until life isn't hard anymore, before you decide to be happy." (Nightbirde) 

And in that moment something switched. I decided that despite it all. In spite of it ALL.  Despite it all, I am happy in this moment. I decided to be happy. And I was.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Breaking the Rules

Day 54, Hour 50 of 120 Hours of Yoga I am really starting to enjoy yoga, if not for the physical benefits, then at least for the stories I come away with. Today did not disappoint in the story area. I arrived 25 minutes early. KJ was filling in for another instructor for the 4:30pm class. I walked in and immediately saw Ryann who was seated, working on her computer tablet, and Phil and KJ who were standing at the check-in desk in passionate conversation about something. I had already checked-in using the app, and as I walked by the desk, KJ and Phil kept talking. None of them - not Ryann, KJ, or Phil - looked up to say hello. So I kept on walking, left my flip flops near the wall, and proceeded towards the hot room. I was almost out of the lobby - about 2 steps from being out of sight from the front desk - when I heard Phil say, "ready to get your sweat on?"  Was he talking to me? I have no idea. I have been to this studio almost everyday for 2 months now, and the on...
Read more

Phil

Day 8, Hour 8 of 120 Hours of Yoga I arrived at my usual time, about 30 minutes early, and waited in my car until 15 minutes before class started. The weather was gorgeous, and so I decided to join a small group of people standing outside, waiting for the doors to open. Everyone stood together, heads down, scrolling through their phones. 10 minutes before class .. 5 minutes before class .. the doors were still locked. A woman who was inside prepping food in the Seed Cafe finally unlocked the doors, apologizing and explaining there was a misunderstanding of who was supposed to teach that morning, but that "Phil was on his way". Phil is a co-owner of the yoga studio, and a DJ. I've been to 2 yoga classes over the last few years where the instructor played really loud music. One of these classes was at LifeTime Fitness, where I felt completely bifurcated expecting a meditative yoga class, but was instead drowned in an environment of flashing lights and loud music one might e...
Read more

Catching Up

Days 9-27, Hours 9-21 of 120 Hours of Yoga I've missed a few hours of yoga over the last couple of weeks. With my mom in town for my son's birthday, and extra obligations as his school year wraps up, I've missed about 7 days of yoga. I plan on making up the time by doubling up on classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays for a while. I should be caught up within a month.  Some exciting news about my progress: My balance is improving. It's amazing what balancing poses tell you about yourself! I'm stronger in some poses than I would have expected, and not as strong in poses I would have thought I'd be stronger in. Some of my favorite instructors give suggestions for micro-adjustments that really help me to try and move into a better pose. Squeeze your shoulder blades together during eagle pose. Keep your knees parallel while sitting back and twisting your torso to one side, reaching elbow towards opposite thigh. Reach back foot toward the back of the room during toppling-...
Read more